I'm No Longer Dating Men (As a Bi Woman*)
Trigger warning for man hating, I guess. If you need that.
I’ve been dating men since I was 14 years old. I only started dating non-men at 24. It took me ages to come to terms with my bisexuality and my queerness, and over these past three years I’ve explored dating women, both trans and cis, and non-binary folks. I find myself being a lot happier, a lot more secure, and a lot more valued. In my past experiences of dating men, I’ve been mistreated, under-appreciated, and sometimes even abused. I know this is not exclusive to dating men, but I myself have only experienced it while dating men.
Recently, I broke things off with a man I was seeing because he was making homophobic remarks about my bisexuality. Even more recently, I started talking to a man who I had a relationship with some years ago. Even though he’d cancelled on me several times and been very flakey, I (foolishly) thought that this time would be different. But once again, he undervalued me and simply treated me as a placeholder.
Maybe to some people this isn’t a good enough reason to give up on dating men. But to that I say - you are not me. You don't have my experiences in life. Sure, I’ve heard the ‘not all men’ argument before, but until it’s proven otherwise, to me, it is all men. The more I try to date men, the worse I feel about them, and the worse I feel about myself. And why would I want to subject myself to that?
I still identity as bi, but simply a bisexual woman* that no longer wishes to date men due to the way they treat me and the way they view relationships.
Here’s to being valued and respected in 2025.
*I may be non-binary, but that’s a post for another time.
strong relate!
It's a good enough reason for me because I have the same sentiments. It's hard for me to establish emotional connections with new men now because of my experiences with them over the years. I went through a phase where I didn't entertain them at all, but every now and then, I get that itch.